Monthly Archive for September, 2005

Of Bon-Bons and Soap Operas: SAHM Misunderstood

I mentioned my garden and how much I enjoy it. I shared how I pop Cole in the front pack and we water the garden together.

The reply came, \”Oh, that\’s nice. That gives you something to do during the day.\”

I tried to justify and explain why my day is plenty full. I wanted to clearly communicate that for me to nurture a garden is a treat, not just something to pass the time. To the contrary, other things are neglected while I steal time from one thing to do another. Once again I tried to prove my value…

I found myself in an environment recently where what I do is misunderstood, or flatly not understood - conversation was at times uncomfortable and often one-sided. I worked to ask questions and dig into other\’s lives, but very little was reciprocated. Some just do not understand that though I \”stay at home\” with my kids I have a mind (split 3 ways, but a mind nonetheless!), opinions (oh, I have opinions), a degree (was a high school teacher), and a darn charming sense of humor (if I do say so myself!).

I know that the path we (my husband and I) have chosen for our family is right. I do not feel guilty, ashamed or less for \”staying at home\”. I am doing what I want to do. Though I do sometimes feel the need to justify my choice. Actually, I do not \”stay\” at home as much as I\’d like - especially with gas prices so high…

Speaking of Bon-Bons and Soap Operas… Dibs are much better… heehee…

Published
by
jenny
on September 20, 2005
in General and Mutha' Hood
. 10 Comments

Make Love Not War…

When what I had planned for the day was spoiled by vomit, I still had choices. I could sulk and be grumpy (ok, I was for a time…) OR I could approach the day differently. One could say, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. When life gave us vomit - we made tie dye T’s!

I wasn’t productive in the way I intended when the day began, but now I see how productive the day really was. Today I read a post by Nancy Blakely. The following is a piece of what she wrote:

During my baby years, the years our four children were between the ages of newborn and five, I divided the world into ‘permanent’ and ‘impermanent’ things. The daily mountain of laundry, washing dishes, grocery shoppping, all fell into the ‘impermanent’ side of life. These things seemed necessary but dull. Anybody could do them, and they would be done today, tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that. Impermanent, as I saw it, would not change the world or leave a trace of my performance.
Permanents, on the other hand, left an impression in the slippery slide of my life. Reading a book, writing in my journal, making something: a sweater, an arrangement of flowers, a slingshot, meant I was alive underneath the fatigue.

I so appreciate her words and insight. I struggle daily. I constantly battle the tug-of-war between the “permanent” and “impermanent”. It is good to read reminders of where my focus and intentions should be. I probably would not have regretted accomplishing all my “to-do’s” that day, but I prefer the fun and excitement the kids and I shared as we splashed and stained perfectly good white shirts…

Published
by
jenny
on September 19, 2005
in Family, General, Joel, Lucy, Mutha' Hood and Olivia
. 2 Comments

Congratulations “Little” Sister!!!

Published
by
jenny
on September 19, 2005
in Family and General
. 2 Comments

Power Color

I got this from Maryrose. I like magenta…


Your Power Color Is Magenta


At Your Highest:You energize yourself and push others to suceed.

At Your Lowest:

You feel frustrated and totally overwhelmed.

In Love:

You are suprised by who you attract. You’re a love magnet.

How Yo’re Attractive:

Open and free spirited, people want to explore the world with you.

Your Eternal Question:

“What is my next source of inspiration?”

Hee, hee… I’m a love magnet…

Published
by
jenny
on September 18, 2005
in General and Kerry Jen-Jen
. 1 Comment

Changing it up…

How often does The Mama instigate mayhem at the dinner table???

Not often enough…

This was definitely an after-dinner highlight!

Published
by
jenny
on September 6, 2005
in Family, General, Joel and Olivia
. 5 Comments

The Many Uses of Baby Wipes?

My kids were on a mission. Mommy was grumpy, and something needed to be done. The solution was obvious?. Baby wipes.

After roving the house for their tool of choice, Cole and Cole finally found a package of wipes. They each pulled out a few and began wiping my shoulders, legs, arms, back with the wipes…

Kids? What are you doing????

Joel\’s simple reply, \”We are trying to get a new Mommy!\”

Ouch. Looks like it was my turn to choose a better attitude :)

Published
by
jenny
on September 6, 2005
in General, Joel, Mutha' Hood and Olivia
. 3 Comments

Deep Thought

Courtesy of Merciful Grace

Published
by
jenny
on September 6, 2005
in General
. 0 Comments

Dark Side or Reality

I don\’t know if this is the dark side of mothering, or just the reality.

It can really suck sometimes. How\’s that for eloquence? It sucks to not have family around. I\’ve heard the saying, \”Friends are the family you make for yourself\”. I have seen this firsthand in my own life, especially since my second child was born. If it were not for the family of friends that has grown around me, I would truly be, well… screwed. My family of friends includes the most stellar people imaginable. However, I still feel a bit shorted. I know I am not alone though - so many women raise their families without the benefit of having family nearby. Like them, I just don\’t want it to be that way.

I am 32 and I need a mom. I need the nurture, the compassion, the unconditional love. I do have that, but the miles between me and my mom add up to expensive flying or 20 hours of driving each way. I find I need that stuff in person, and more than a couple times a year.

Circumstances highlight my loneliness, my separate-ness. When my daughter throws up 200 feet from the babysitter\’s home, I feel the void. Where do I turn? I won\’t ask my friends watch my sick kids, they need to keep their own kids healthy. But my Mom would be there in the blink of an eye - neither vomit, nor poo, nor snot, nor trials of potty training would keep her from supporting her grown daughter, and spending time with her grandbabies.

I stayed up until nearly 2 a.m. last night to make today - ULTRA ERRAND DAY - most successful. I should be at Target right now, I should be feeling productive. Instead, I sit fighting back tears, forming feelings into words, but still coming up short. Some things I can\’t express, some things I should not. I am again reminded of how my life has taken shape outside of family. There is much goodness and blessing in my life, but there are pockets of time I long for this hole to be filled in…

I cannot end this without adding one thing - my dear husband. This extends beyond motherhood, into parenthood. His efforts to help fill this void are heroic. He suffers the consequences of this dilemma as well. A rested and joyful spouse is a better spouse, and these days rest and joy are on the top shelf - and our step-stool appears to be missing…

Published
by
jenny
on September 1, 2005
in General and Mutha' Hood
. 8 Comments