Me: Yes?
Imagined interviewer: You’re training for your third half-marathon. How do you feel?
Me: Good. I still have all my toenails.
Imagined interviewer: Now, you do a “long run”each week… this week was 10 miles, next week will be 11… and then culminating on “race day” with 13.1 miles… yes?
Me: Yep. Except my friend and I choose to prefer to swap the word “event” for the word “race”. You know the saying, “Slow and steady wins finishes the race event”…
Imagined interviewer: What’s your secret Kerry?
ME: Huh?
Imagined interviewer: How do you recover after such long runs? What is your strategy for calorie replacement?
Me: That’s a really good question. I’m glad you asked. I burned over 800 calories today, and veggies can never replace that sort of caloric deficit. Never. You have got to use the big guns. I had a triple grande eggnog latte (from a certain Celestial Siren) and a donut. And another donut.
Imagined interviewer: How do you spell that?
Me: C - R - A - C - K
See, now. That right there. That is funny.