the other day… To the 2-4 year old class. There were 10 of Them. Ten. My chest hurts thinking about it.
I got my degree in Social Studies. I received a teaching credential to teach at the secondary level. I actually taught high school for a whole year. I decided to teach youth because I was afraid of little people. I was afraid of - Yard. Duty. If I wanted to be a bouncer, I’d have worked at a bar.
You know what I think? I think pubescent lunacy is tame compared to… to… Preschoolers. In. Sunday. School. I’m quivering.
How the hockey sticks does classroom management work in Sunday School? Can you give a detention to a 2 year old in Sunday School? Not so mauch. Where’s the principal? Back up! I need back up!
Things I learned on Sunday:
- Playdoh time = snack time.
- The plastic sword intended to be used as a prop for our lesson on Daniel and the Lion’s Den… not so much a prop.
- The lion face masks = total chaos. The Little People didn’t want to role play according to the script… they wanted to “ROWR!!!!”
How do you teach love and wonderful things about Jesus while you “sweetly” beg little Johnny to put down the lion mask and “Stop ROWRING” until the story is done? How do you show patience while you use all your 25,000 words for the day reminding adorable Lilly to keep the plastic cherries out of her mouth. How do you maintain one’s hope for world peace when precious Bobby won’t leave the “vicious” stuffed lions alone and has spread hay all over the theater room…???
I know, why was there hay? It was cute, but when reality plays out… reality plays. out.
I believe preschoolers are not for teaching. They are for destruction… Of me. Of my classroom. Of my sanity. Of all semblance of self-respect… Of my double-application of deodorant. When they are in a mob group… Oh where is the hope???
I get to teach again next week. But I learned some things. This time I will wear sweat pants. I will bring my deodorant. I will wear knee pads and a helmet. I will bring a white jacket, ear plugs, and a venti mocha - with extra whip (comfort food). I will not try to actually teach.
Game on Little People. I already know you have me beat. I am at the mercy - of all 20 of your sweet, sticky, curious hands. Just try not to eat the Playdoh. Please. It makes me gag and sometimes throw up in my mouth a little.
May I add my two cents? Bring lots of goldfish crackers and animal crackers.
“Normal” classroom discipline doesn’t work at Sunday School, you are so right about that. I haven’t figured out what does work except to give in and let them roar until they wear themselves out.
And when I teach, I only pull out the playdoh if I am absolutely desperate!
this is so funny! i feel the same way! i remember going to my son’s preschool last year and thinking there is no money in the world that could be enough to compensate his teachers. and they seemed to love it. i am so not cut out for the pre-k set. i’d take teens any day, and that’s saying alot.
Amen! Those 2-4 year olds are a handful. I used to really love working with that age group. Then I started working with the older kids. I must have been insane when I was with the babies!
Good luck next week!
if i wanted to be a bouncer, i would’ve worked at a bar. that’s too funny… and how i feel about little kids in general, including my own.
EEP! How did you get roped into Sunday School?
As one who taught that age group in VBS and Mission Friends for many years, here are a few more tips:
- In a preschooler’s mind, if a little glue is good, a LOT of glue is even better!
- If you let one sit on your lap, they will ALL want to sit on your lap!
- NO attention span. None. Best not to fight it.
- I can’t remember anything else because I think I had to take some Xanax and go to my Happy Place when I got finished. Just let me say that it’s all SO worth it when they wrap their little arms around your legs and tell you they love you, or when you see them in the grocery store and they get SO excited, like you are a celebrity or something! And when their parents tell you that their kid really enjoyed the class and talked about Daniel in the lion’s den all day long. Yeah, you may not think so, but they are listening.