I could write all about my wonderful children, but I am afraid the content would largely consist of the word “poop”, plus my 6 year old asked me not to blog about her issues that resulted in an x-ray and daily Miralax “cocktails”.
While waiting for her x-ray she asked, “What are you going to blog about today?”
Me, “Oh… probably something about the very important vice-presidential debate that is happening tonight.”
She, “Oh…”.
I pressed… “Why? Do you want me to write about this?”
Olivia, “No.”
Me, “Were you worried I’d write about this?”
Olivia nodded and looked relieved.
So… I won’t blog about THAT.
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Today I will write about what I did Wednesday night! Plus, it was way more fun than poop. It’s true. My friend Lisa and I went to a concert. I saw 3 bands I’d never heard of. The genre: folk/rock-folk/country/blues/bluegrass/afrobeat. Yeah, righ tin line with my retro-pop-80’s obsession…
Here’s what went down:
Prior to the concert we ate a hearty blue-cheese burger, fries and each enjoyed a Mac and Jacks-ish type ale. Whilst we wuz eating ferverishly so-as to make the concert on time… 2 old fellers (like, “Dad? What are YOU doing here?”-old) saw fit that we should have a conversation. I still think they should have been given barka loungers to sit on instead of barstools, but that’s just me making a wide-sweeping judgement.
“But Kerry, can you give us a better description of these fellers?”
That is a great idea! I think a video clip would give you the best idea:
Yes. It was an entertaining conversation… as you might imagine. For example they told Lisa she looked like Nicole Kidman, and I was told I looked like Julia Roberts. It was hard for me not to spit my ale about the establishment - for the last time someone told me I looked like The Great Julia Roberts I was 19 and the complimenter was not the brightest star in the sky aaaand drunk. Yay. One must be drunk for me to look like Julia Roberts! Maybe instead of greeting My Public with “Hi!” I should keep hard liquor and shot glasses in my purse…
Oh those poor old fellers tryin’ to flirt with “movie stars” at a tavern in Ballard on a Wednesday night. While I would love to look like J.R., I am 8 feet shorter, 1300 pounds heavier, and much, MUCH younger. However, she and I DO have something in common - a laugh that’ll shake pictures off of walls.
Another point in the conversation worth noting was the following “compliment” directed at Me: “Wow. You got some guns. Wow. And those shoulders…”
Alright. I work out. I also have “non-small” arms, but have some muscle tone. I hate my arms. I have always had big arms. Now that I lift weights I do have muscle definition… On. My. Big. Arms. I feel big arms with some definition is better than big arms without. Yes? So, thank you sir, for saying something about my man-arms. And I in all my wit only had this for a reply,
Why thank you. I am half-man.
I mean, what’s a girl with “some guns” supposed to say? I will never hear, “Wow. Your arms are so dainty… like Tinker Bell…” Maybe I should start competing in arm wresting competitions. Or take up logging…
Aaaaaaanywho. We arrived at the concert - bellies full. We gained lawful entry into concert venue, purchased a coupla drinks and waited for the show to start. Like the committed bloggers that we are - we took pictures with our iPhones! I took these:
Here I am sitting with mah dancin’ shoes at the Tractor Tavern in Ballard.
And here’s my Lisa groovin’ on Laura Marling and her talented band!
So - we saw 3 bands - Mumford & Sons, Laura Marling & the headliner: Johnny Flynn. Never heard of ‘em. But now I have! Did you know that folk music can really rock?! Uh. Mah. Gah. These folks were AWESOME. There was even an electric banjo! Did you know there are such things as electric banjos? Electric banjos rock! RAWK!
Ya know, I think when it really comes down to it - live music is just the best. Just is. Just is…
And a final picture for you. Lisa scored a picture of Julia Roberts me and my son Johnny Flynn himself. Thank you young Johnny for humorin’ the old ladies… Thank you Lisa for cropping out my walker for this picture… and for making sure I left my dentures in. And, Leesy Lis, thank you for keeping my “guns” out of the shot too.
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Good times, girl. Good times. Next time take me along, K?
You should get a tattoo of an anchor on your arm. Like Popeye. ;-)
I don’t even know what to say.. to a half-man! Bwah ha ha ha! Truth be told, Kerry, you looked wicked hot and we got CARDED so cut the comments about the walker. Yeah… the Brits was youngins…but we rocked that place just like some teenagers anyway. Drunk teenagers.
Johnny is adorable! I love rockin folk music…there’s a music festival going on this weekend in Golden Gate Park called Hardly Strictly Bluegrass - it’s free and it’s great music! Even with the rain you’ve inspired me to check it out today!
Oh, he is keee-yoot! And you actually do look a little like Julia Roberts.
First off, thank you. You put one of my favorite all-time SNL bits on your blog. “Da Bears”. Change up the spelling of Bears and you have me and the fam!
Second off, don’t be hatin’ on your arms! You work hard for what you got. Be loud and proud! At least your arms don’t look like two sides of ham with stretch marks….
We should compare “guns” sometime- I have the same feelins about my arms. Hmmm, perhaps we are a new race- the half-men?
Miralax has a permanent home in our houehold as well. I have to say, it does work wonders for my stubborn to poop girls.
Nicole Kidman and Julia Roberts? I’m hanging out with ya’ll next time. I don’t get compared to lovely ladies. I only get “wow, I thought you were one of the students.” And I work in an ELEMENTARY school not high school.
I’ve never heard of those bands either but it sounds like quite the fun night! And Johnny Flynn is quite the cutie!