Kerry On the Spot

I am a “stay at home mom”. Dooce has a humorous, yet “PG-13″ rated acrostic-of-sorts as her creative “title” for this highly esteemed role on her “about” page… My friend Jen created the You Might Be A Stay At Home Mom Saturday on her blog… which helps chronicle the moments that define us, overwhelm us, and leave us scratching our heads.

You know what? I get to field awesome comments about my purpose as a SAHM from time to time. I struggle with what to say when someone asks what I “do”, because the whole SAHM thing, while accurate in some ways — is quite inaccurate in others. The 21,000 miles in one year on my minivan might be proof enough. Maybe. 

And in all honesty, I often long for recognition, awards, positive reviews and a raise. Not much of that is going on here. My recognition happens when a child says “Fank you” unprompted, or if we make it to the potty on time. My “reward” in the latter example is that I do not end up on my hands and knees, cleaning pee of the floor.

The other day I shook it up a bit and said I was a “Kept Woman”. I might keep going with that one. Such laughter ensued I had no opportunity to justify my pointless non-professional existence. But what do you do when “the question” comes from one SAHM to another SAHM?

To be fair, the “What do you do all day” came from a SAHHM. That extra “H” stands for homeschooling. Now, I homeschooled my son for 1st grade. I have first-hand experience with the time and effort involved. First-hand experience with the “never-a-break-from-kids” and “how is there ANY time to clean the house or cook a meal” dilemmas. Not to mention prepping for lessons and researching better curriculum. It’s a lot of work. A. Lot. It’s a lot of I work I no longer “do”. I have many dear friends who school 3 to 4 children, and they ARE busy, WAY busier than me… but… but…

But still. Because I don’t home school, what do I do all day??? And… REALLY?

Ouch.

First off, I have a 3 year old. Have I mentioned she’s not mastered that whole, “pee on the toilet” goal many parents have for their 3-year-olds? 21,000 miles takes a few hours to rack up. I blog. O.K., maybe that’s not my best defense… But mostly I drop off all the children to their institutionalized establishments of learning, come home and practice tying my apron, look through magazines, craft masterpieces with hot glue, talk on the phone, and do sit-ups. I also talk to myself in the mirror a lot because I have found myself to be one of the most entertaining and lovely people I know.

I feel like I fell down 3 flights of stairs backwards with saran-wrap binding my limbs to my trunk. 

What do I do all day? Nothin’.

I sincerely wish I had more pictures. I know I have more pictures, but then I’d have to go find them and load them, and *gasp* I have things to accomplish this morning! These pictures are from yesterday morning. Cole tried to get milk for herself, and she doesn’t like the “crusts” on Pop Tarts. I have beads stuck between my toes from all the bead “projects” Cole has underway. This morning I found flash cards all over the living room and more Pop Tart crusts. In. The. Living. Room. I also snuggled Cole and helped her warm her toes.  Joel was at a sleep-over last night, so the 2 older kids have not yet had the chance to provoke screams and rage from one another, thus causing me to tap into my role as “mediator” and “war counsel”. *sigh* I have listened to Cole sing at least 3 songs and she has given me no less than 4 cards this morning. Do you know the mess involved with a 6-year-old and card making? She gave me this one yesterday:

Awwww… She loves her mom… Who cares what the heck I “do” all day… *tosses golden locks of dyed hair, sips imaginary coffee… her eye twinkles back as she glances in the mirror to admire herself*

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