Not only is it Make Me Laugh Monday, but it is also, MMLM… November 3, 2008… Which means it is the day before the 2008 Presidential election which means I can totally make fun of a lot of people here, and who am I to pass up an opportunity, aye?
Therefore and hithertofor… I post one of those FW: fwd: FWD:: emails, that truly made me laugh. It is not often one of those “FW: fwd: FWD::” emails really gets my gut rolling, so I knew I had to share it. You may have received this email, and if so… enjoy it again. If not, then… have fun! Also, I added one at the end. I’m crazy like that.
You wanna know my favorite? Aristotle. I chose him so you’d think I was all-deep and philosophophish. When you leave a comment, tell me which one is YOURS!
Without further ado… Poking Fun at Everyone!
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??
SARAH PALIN:
Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
JENNYONTHESPOT: Is the chicken wearing glitter? Because I think the chicken needs to wear some glitter. I mean, he’s crossing the road to do the Chicken Dance, right? Be you person… be you chicken, neither can can dance without GLITTER! Hello!
Wanna Make Me or somebody else laugh today? Add your info into Mr. Linky and lets giggle together today! It may be our last chance… election day is tomorrow, after all… :) The world may fall apart before we get another Monday. Just kidding. A little.
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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…
A thought,
We all know what the crime of Sodom is, Sodomy.
What however it the Crime of Gomorrahy?
Extensive research has turned up only that it involves a rubber chicken, a hose and a bottle of French Dressing.
And this is what my wife did to that left-wing, pinko, commie, liberal, New York Obama (formerly Hillary) loving, road-crossing chicken.
http://blog.charcuteire.com/2008/10/13/chicken–piece-it-yourself.aspx
Clint Eastwood: I asked that chicken, “you feeling lucky punk?” So he crossed the road. Chicken.
hehehe. I like that one.
These are too funny! Gotta put this one on my blog, too! And give you full credit, of course. And a sprinkle of glitter.
i’m patial to dr. seuss but i can so here nancy grace saying that in my head.
Is it rude of me to point out that Kathleen missed a great opportunity?
Of course, Clint Eastwood SHOULD have asked, “Are you feeling PLUCKY?”
Har.
I’ve seen this one before but it makes me giggle everytime. Why, Kerryonthespot was my favorite! With Colonel Sanders a close 2nd. ;)
One can not possibly leave out Chuck Norris: “If that chicken walks on my side of the road, I will roundhouse kick it in the face”
Boooyah!
And to think….we had Colonel Sanders last night!!! Maybe he did get that chicken that got away after all!!!!
Auntie Robin
Tee heeee. You make me laugh no matter what day it is.
i totally fell out of the blogging world for a while, but I am back to tell you that this post is seriously hilarious. I am still laughing at some of them….make that all of them.