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My 1000th Post, that’s right.

Dear Friends, family, lurkers… My Public,

I want to thank your for your comments. Your hits, your visits, your searches, your never-ending devotion. I adore you. I love you. I. Need. You. I could never have made it to my 1000th post without YOU. It has taken nearly 5 years to make it to this milestone, and I want you to know… I know. But I wonder, do you? Know? Do you really know Me? I wonder… after nearly five long years of run-ons, tangents, dangling participles, comma-obsessiveness, the abuse of exclamation points, and a myriad of other grammatical atrocities… if somewhere along the way we’ve missed what this blog is all about….

M to the E.

…And if you don’t know me by now… a special multimedia presentation - from ME to YOU:

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Published
by
jenny
on December 26, 2008
in 365, Awesome, Bloggy Bloggy, Delusions of Grandeur, General, Ridiculous and Wasting Time
. 11 Comments

Merry Christmas!!!

I just want to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas! I pray for warmth and joy in your hearts and homes. I look forward to all the fun we are going to have together in the next year! I have so many wonderful things planned for your enjoyment and intellectual stimulation! Really, especially the latter…*ahem*

I also look forward to playing with your minds. You. Complete. Me. Aaaaand I look forward to all the compliments and unrestrained adoration you will give me in the new year as well. I especially look forward to all the bloggy awards you are going to give me and the NOMINATIONS TO ALL THE AWARDS the blogoshpere has to offer, AS WELL AS YOUR COVETED VOTES… andyourcompletesubmissionasItakeovertheworld… *swings pocket watch whilst playing trance music and sprays glitter into the air*. I just want to thank you in advance… So. Much. *wipes tear* 

But in all seriousness and sincerity… Hugs. Kisses. And prayers for you and yours in this season… A season of joy for many. I rejoice with you. Sadly, this can be an especially difficult time for our/my friends and neighbors of the world… maybe even you - old friend or first-time visitor… For those coping with grief or loss or financial struggle or broken relationships or… you are on my heart. Dear friends, I will not name you here, but as I pray today — know I love you and am asking for comfort and peace for you this moment, last night as I went to sleep and throughout today. My heart aches and longs for each of you to be spared of your struggles. May God’s grace fill you up today. Big, big hugs to you.

Love, Kerry

Published
by
jenny
on December 25, 2008
in 365, Bloggy Bloggy and Friends
. 6 Comments

A scissor attack, Santa letters and a coffee sleeve.

So. Today. I was hummin’ along, clip, clip, clippin’ down the big parts offa the little branch things from a bundle of non-organic *shame* grapes, and out of NO. FLIPPIN’. WHERE. the scissors ATTACKED my poor, cute, innocent little finger tip. Now, I am left typing without my left ring finger! You have no idea how devoted I am…  I am down A WHOLE FINGER and yet I post. For you. Just look at the carnage!

The scissors in question did not make bail… and will probably be banished to 4 rounds in an extra hot dishwasher - for punishment as well as disinfectation. That’s my new word — disinfectation. I know. I’ll submit it to Webster’s after the New Year.

*****

The kids wrote Santa notes to place next to the cookie plate tonight:

Note: Cole was born in 1999. The boy knows how to work an angle.

But will she love her ONE present from Santa?

*****

I mentioned in an earlier post that I recently attended a cookie exchange. I just have to share what Nikki made… She MADE… SEWED… *turning green with skillz envy* the most desperately adorable coffee sleeves EVER! Eh-Vah! She package up her little cookies, popped them in a paper coffee cup, slipped on the homemade sleeve and tied the cuteness up with clear cellophane and fun ribbon. Here’s that sleeve:

I. Know. I am so lucky to be friends with such a gifted woman. 

*****

Lastly, don’t forget to follow Santa on Norad tonight! Peace, love and all the stuff that peace and love are made of… to you and your families… Merry Christmas :)

*****

Dudes. This is my 998th post! Holy-Oh-My-Heck!!!

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Published
by
jenny
on December 24, 2008
in 365, Friends, General, Joel, Olivia, Skillz and Spawn
. 6 Comments

I am such a hostess…

even when it comes to my newest online friends. I wish I could say the following was my idea, but originality has never been my forte’… Awesome-ocity, yes… originality, notsomuch. Recently I acquired 2 new followers on Twitter… @neoblog and @mrsNeO. I checked ‘em out and made the educated decision to follow them back. And you know what they did? Soon after, I received direct messages from them telling me they made a Twitter welcome video!

How about THEM apples, ehhh???  It just so happens I have recently developed quite a relationship with the fine art of video. So, naturally…. I also have made MY OWN Twitter Welcome video! Aaaaaand have greeted 2 new followers already! You want to see it? Wanna, wanna? It’s short — 23 seconds long. The sound is pretty sub-subpar, but I did happen to have my wavy hair “on”… maybe the hair absorbed all the sound before it got to the mic… But(t) the still for the video on You Tube is just awful. If you hurry up and click my face won’t be so distorted. Hurry, before I break your screen!

Not on Twitter? Why not? Come, follow me *swings pocket watch in pendulum manner*… I’ll follow you back… because isn’t that something you’ve always dreamed of… an online stalker obsessed with glitter and the power of her own Awesome? *still swinging pocket watch*

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Published
by
jenny
on December 23, 2008
in 365, Twitter and Vlogging
. 6 Comments

Make Me Laugh Monday - I love Jesus but I drink a little.

I am posting this a little late. I missed my 12 a.m. posting cuzza I got a belly ache & the shivvvvvers last night and collapsed into bed. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Makes me wonder if all that smoked salmon dip and bottle of wine didn’t agree with me so much… It has me wondering if I am a good decision-maker afterall…

Aaaaanywho. And THEN, this morning, I dove into iChat with my friend Casey and then our kids iChatted until the laptop battery died… Thank you for your patience. I suggest you take a seat… or bookmark this for when you have 5 or so minutes to giggle with Ellen DeGeneres as she chats with Glady’s… It. Is. Adorable. At one point she says, “I love Jesus but I drink a little.” I think it would be awesome to spend Christmas with Gladys… and wine… at her house… Thank you Aunt Jame for alerting me to this clip!

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Ready to join in on the MMLM madness? Just enter your name and link to your SPECIFIC FUNNY post. If there is some “questionable” content in a video or audio clip - kindly let us know in your post so those of us with little ones underfoot can plug in our earphone or wait for bedtime :) Looking forward to getting my laugh-on!

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Published
by
jenny
on December 22, 2008
in 365, General and Make Me Laugh Monday
. 13 Comments

Awesome of All Awesomeness.

There is no better title, for I found (via Twitter, but cannot remember who tweeted it!)  The Periodic Table of Awesomements. I LOVE Awesome. It is not only my favorite word, but also my favorite STATE OF BEING! I implore you - go check out the full Periodic Table of Awesomements (I included a screen shot below as a teaser… if you click on it - you will be transported to the full table of Awesomements…). It lists such things as: Bacon! Chuck Norris! Guitar Solos! Coffee! Chocolate! Mullets! Hoodies! Eagles! Cheetas! Light Sabers! The only 2 things I noticed missing were: Kerry! & Glitter! I’ll see what I can do about that…

Are you Awesome? You most certainly are… you came HERE didn’t you? And, just as a reminder… I never (details) claimed to be perfect — just Awesome… 

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Published
by
jenny
on December 21, 2008
in 365, Awesome, Bloggy Bloggy and General
. 8 Comments

My Newest Vlog - Baking Cookies for a Cookie Exchange

I don’t know why I do this. I ac’ a fool and capture it on video. Then I post it on the whole world of wide internets.It’s on the long side (6 minutes and 44 seconds), and I hate monopolizing so much of your time.

Here, *hands you a virtual eggnog latte that she made, and sprinkled with a dash of nutmeg*. You know what, friends, when I make it into the Sundance Film Festival and receive all kinds of critical acclaim *she also has issues with reality and perception*, you can say,

Hey! I KNOW her! We’re BFF’s! She made me a cuppa coffee!

If you leave a comment, I’ll even have PROOF you were here during my short time as a struggling producer/director/editor/musical scor-er/actor… and I can print out all the comments, and then… I can call you up and we could all go to the film festival together… and all my commenters would be my ENTOURAGE… and I would give you cans of glitter to spray in my general direction when the papparazzi are going WILD over the hot new “name” in film… and you could carry my sparkling water… and I would need someone to carry a fan — because I like the way I look when wind blows my hair… I think that would make me look really pretty for the papparazzi pics… And you could run to Starbucks for me because I’ve noticed actors often carry a Starbucks cup… and I’ll get a puppy to carry in my purse… and we could go to all the parties and dance… Oooh, I am getting EXCITED - we are going to have so much fun when I get famous!!!

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Published
by
jenny
on December 20, 2008
in 365, Delusions of Grandeur, Eats, General, Humiliation, Ridiculous, Vlogging and Wasting Time
. 12 Comments

A quickie

Here’s a quick post. I am feeling a bit undone… overwhelmed. Or maybe I am feeling like a roll of tape where you can’t find the end…. pissy. I feel like I want to cry, and I have no reason to except for the fact that I feel overwhelmed and pissy. See. Please, no pity party. This girl needs to buck-up and appreciate all the goodness that surrounds her. Right? I can’t help but think, though, a good cry would feel really awesome. 

So, in an effort of denial, and in an effort to focus on laughter — if it truly is the best medicine…

Go visit Sexy People.

Go!!!!!

Did you see the family portait with the girl with the Cabbage Patch doll? *gasping for air* Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom….

Holy-Oh-My-Heck! I laughed so hard my sides seized-up… I think I even laughed so deeply I honked. Honked. I probably am a Sexy People too. My heart’s desire is to put the photos from this site up on a big screen and watch them with all of you. And margaritas. I love watching funny stuff with my friends… souped up on margaritas. 

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Published
by
jenny
on December 19, 2008
in 365, Funny Funnerson and Not So Much
. 7 Comments

Kid notes.

The things that drive me the most crazy about my son, are also the things that endear my heart to him everyday. He is intense and passionate, which sound good, unless things don’t work out the way he’d hoped. He is a planner. He is an “attention to detail” kind-of guy. He has been known to lay out his school clothes the night before, on his own. The other night he chose to do his homework during a family movie time. We had had a crazy number of days, and I was gonna tell his teacher that we just needed to deflate and he would finish his homework the next night. Cole couldn’t handle it. After a few minutes, he grabbed his bag and worked on his homework. For him, there is an order, and he functions best when that order stays intact.

2 nights ago I told him to leave his sign-off sheet on the counter for me to sign later (my hands were covered in cookie dough). Later that evening I found his school bag open, his folder open on top — the sign-off sheet and a pen ready, and this note:

I love my boy.

*****

In other news, apparently I rock! Cole told me so…

Of course, my son was disgusted. He said, “EEEEEWWWWW! Number 1 is PEE!!!”

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Published
by
jenny
on December 18, 2008
in 365, Family, General, Joel and Olivia
. 11 Comments

Now I feel better.

I wish I could say I feel better today than yesterday because I am perfectly content with my person/body. I wish it was because I am a deeply deep person who waxes “empathetic” and works tirelessly to save endangered seahorses and suchnesses. BUT.  I am shallow — like a kiddie pool. I am also vein vain and need to be adored. It’s an insatiable need, really… like something that cannot be satiated. I know - I also am gifted when it comes to analogies.

Yesterday afternoon, my hunger to be adored… no, WORSHIPPED… was satisfied by a younger man… We have known each other for the better part of 3 years, but I had no idea…

His eyes… the purest shade of blue.

His hair… golden with hints of warm sand.

My heart… melted to the core…

The magnificently curled ends of my glowing locks (you call yours “hair”), fell against his face as I unbuckled his car seat. I could feel his fingers twirl the strands of my golden goddessness. Poor boy, he was overcome with my beauty, my presence, my my-ness, and he gushed,

You are cuuuuuuuuute.

I turned my head… I could not ignore such words of genius… OF TRUTH… No. He deserved my full attention. With My voice of an angel I asked, “What did you just say?” He continued twirling my hair… for he knew in his hands he held the 8th wonder of the world… and with his gorgeous 3-year-old blue eyes he said,

Yoooooouuu are cuuuuuuuuuuute.

I just about melted all over that parking lot.

*****

That story reminds me of another one. Children are good sources for stories. I spent some time substitute teaching while I was finishing my 5th year degree in college. If my memory serves me correct, I was subbing for either a 1st or 2nd grade class. It was the end of recess and the classes were lining up.

This was a 1/2 day gig, so the kids were expecting their teacher to meet them — but they got me. As the flurry of children were lining up I was bombarded with the same question, “Areyouourteacher? Areyouourteacher? Areyouourteacher? Areyouourteacher? Areyouourteacher?”

Yes… yes… yes… mm-hmm… yesyesyes!

The children settled into their line. I reminded them “Keep your voices down and stay in a straight line…” The entire time the boy at the front of the line kept his gaze fixed on me. I felt it. Like a laser. I met his gaze and smiled… Hey, I’m a giver. I’m all about the children. His sweet little face exploded into a huge smile and he and nearly burst at the seams when he exclaimed at the top of his voice and on the tip of his toes,

You’re PRETTY!!! My DAD would sure like YOU!

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Published
by
jenny
on December 17, 2008
in 365, Beauty - ha!, Delusions of Grandeur, Funny Funnerson, General and Kerry Jen-Jen
. 8 Comments