Maybe I’ll give reverse psychology a chance. {{{Que trance music… Commence swinging of pocket watch in pendulum manner…}}}:
Candy Cane Oreos taste like poop. Candy Cane Oreos are of the Devil. The crunch of Candy Cane Oreos are reminiscent of the feeling of biting into a cockroach. Candy Cane Oreos carry the plague. Candy Cane Oreos will render you incontinent. Candy Cane Oreos cause halitosis and extreme lisping. Eating Candy Cane Oreos will usher in the reign of the anti-christ. If you buy a bag of Candy Cane Oreos you will spontaneously combust. Consuming Candy Cane Oreos WILL NOT bring world peace…
I hope that helps, because if it don’t — either I need to plan on eating Candy Cane Oreos whilst running on the treadmill… or I need to go buy new pants with elastic waist bands and lots of milk.
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DoYOUthinkIhaveeatentoomuchcandy?
Idon’tthinkIhaveeatentoomuchcandy.
ThereisnowaythatIhaveeatentoomuchcandy.
IstheresuchathingasTOOMUCHCANDY?
Whereisthespacebaronthisthing?
Ican’tseethespacebar.Spacebarsareoverrated…
Spacebar?Isthatanewcandy?IsitlikeaMilkyWay?
IfIinventedanewcandyI’dnameit”Spacebar”,
andit’dhaveedibleglitteronitandPopRocks.
Ooh!AnotherButterfinger!Righton!
Imean,whatonearthmakesyouthinkI’vehadtoomuchcandy…
Toomuchcandy…Sacrilege!
Pllllbbbbbbtttt!!!
Whatever.
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Lately, it has been rare for me to have nothin’ stored up in this self-obsessed mind of mine to write about. It seems the more I write, the more I have to write about. However, due to the impending 20th anniversary of my 16th birthday, I am all a-flutter with party prep. I have been dusting and behaving in other odd ways (like actually putting laundry AWAY), and folks - that “cleaning” stuff - TOTALLY messes with my creativity!
Now, I could write all about my errands, dinner prep, and how I fold socks… but when I committed to Blog 365 I made a pact with myself. Kerryonthespot would NOT become my online list-keeper on my less creative days. No one wants to read a list - except for the list of keyphrase searches… those are always good for a laugh, or chills down one’s spine, or a reminder there are some real creeps out there. I digress.
So, for the love of Blog 365 and getting something posted on this, the 22nd day of October *ahem5daysbeforemybirthday* — and for the love of not boring you to death — I post 2 pictures…
How is Nosie you ask? You will be happy to know she is doing very well. Recently, she made a new friend:
But Julie was jealous of Nosie’s new friend and threatened to eat said friend.
**No bug was harmed in the making of these pictures… merely traumatized by halitosis**
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I LUV ME MAH SCARVES.
As I pulled out my winter scarves, I felt like a magician pulling scarves from a top hat. I just kept going and going and going… My Scarfaholism is not due to an irrational fear of Vampires - nor is my neck the coldest part on my body. My butt and my feet are my coldest “parts”. And while I will wear thick socks to keep the tootsies warm… I will not wear socks on my butt. That is just not a good look for me…
I wear scarves because they add a smidge more warmth - like a blanket for your neck! They are also a nice little “accessory”… A little pop of color to brighten up a dreary Fall or Winter day… I might even say, “the scarf” was my original “confidence prop“.
A scarf can also double as a noose - when one’s young children tug on it to get attention. Good times. But like my Grandma used to tell me in the 80’s when I’d complain about the stinging pain on my scalp from the activator in the perm treatment, “Pain for beauty, Kerry… Pain for beauty…” I love my Gramma. Maybe I’ll give her a scarf for Christmas…
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I met an very angry hot dog today. It seems he was not so “hot” about the idea of being microwaved to death for lunch.
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My political platform??? See above.
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One steak + 3 servings of mashed potatoes + 2 glasses of wine + 3 servings of salad + one game of Imaginiff + a brisk evening walk + 2 margaritas with extra “ita”, and 1 chocolate-fondue-awesome-aluza???
One gets a spot in the bean bag chair while one rubs her distended belly and moans: “OH. MAH. BELLEE!!! OH. MAH. ACHIN’ BELLEE!!! That was AWSOME!” Yup. True that.
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now that I have a new Confidence Apron!
When my husband came home Monday night, one of the first things out of his mouth was, “I have a confession… … … I bought an album.” I said, “Before you go any further, it’s O.K. with me as long as it’s as cool as this… *saunters toward husband from behind the counter and twirls* … My new CONFIDENCE APRON!”
It’s amazing what a Confidence Apron will do for a timid stirrer… (and it’s amazing what Picnik can do for one’s complexion when editing one’s photos…I *heart* Picnik!)
And the finished product… Oh how a girl can rock the stove in the right kind of apron…
Are you wondering what “Confidence Apron” and I made for dinner??? Only the World’s Best Baked Potato Soup! That’s all! Potatoes… milk… bacon… celery… green onions… bacon… garlic… bacon… chicken… topped with cheddar cheese… My husband realized what was on the menu and asked, “Oh. Is that Baked Potato Soup, baby?” With a velvet whisper I baited him, “Yes it is baby…” Even just TALKIN’ ’bout food changes when “Confidence Apron” has my back.
I would like to give a shout-out to my very talented photographer and photo-shoot designer - my lovely 6 year-old daughter Cole. I was just going to have her take a full-apron shot. But then she said, “Hey Mom, what if I take a picture of you COOOKING!” My. Gosh. My daughter is a flippin’ genius!
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My fridge has been a mess for awhile. As a result I have been tapping into the “stacking” skills I learned in preschool. However, one can only stack and maneuver so much (plus, eggs are not so fond of being at the bottom of the stack…) before the inevitable needs to happen… cleaning. Look at my poor fridge, she’s begging for a little TLC:
Being the good fridge-keeper I know I can be, I dug in my heels and began emptying the fridge. My rubric: 1) Anything with fuzz must go. 2) If it’s original color wasn’t green, it must also go. 3) If it slimed, gone. 4) Curdled? Also, GONE.
Now, a little problem that I have is… what’s the word? Oooh, shiny… What? Oh, yes. I lack FOCUS. So in the midst of behaving in a manner suited to a responsible grown-up, I got distracted. I was distracted by thyme…
This was not the first time thyme and I have done a photo shoot…
Continue reading ‘Friday - A Fridge Friday post and a little about last Friday not about my fridge.’
Eat more of this:
‘Nuf said.
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, then success is sure.
Mark Twain
I got to thinking about confidence today. As far as ignorance goes - I got that covered. That “thinking” all started as I crafted a fine bowl of tasty mashed potatoes for dinner. Only the very best for my family.
I revved up that hand mixer while wearing black pants that I intended to wear out in public later in the evening… to my son’s soccer practice, but in public nonetheless. Despite my best efforts I found I was flinging chunks of mashed taters all over the kitchen and the aforementioned black pants destined for public viewing. I assessed the situation and dug out my apron.
In the moments between donning my 10 year-old, under-utilized apron and returning to tater-flinging (largely due the fact that the bowl I chose was far too shallow… but she was a favorite - a very attractive, delightful porcelain white bowl with a chunky rim… like you care…) I became someone else. “Jenny, the Wonder Cook”…. or “Jenny, Tater Beater Extraordinaire”… or “Jenny, Master of Food Stuffs”… or “Jenny - Butch, Baker, Fabulous Mashed Potato Maker.”
Continue reading ‘Confidence “Props”’
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