Archive for the 'Jenny Jen-Jen' Category

I have met my match.

And I am not speaking as if I were a single sock.

I am speaking of the great game of ping pong, also known as table tennis.

It has been 3 days since my last table tennis match, and my ankles are still aching. I could use my words to explain… Heaven knows I could come up with plenty, but I think I will go ahead and let my pictures do most of the “talking”.

You lookin’ at me? You better be wearin’ your mouth guard.

Whut, ladies? You don’t think I can take you?

That’s right. Take that!

And that!

And that!!!

Tired? I’m not tired. I suffer from narcolepsy. Yeah… narcolepsy…

Scorekeeping is for enemies! We practiced serving off the walls and ceilings, and despite a few aching muscles, we left the rec room smiling with no idea who won :)

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Published
by
jenny
on November 12, 2008
in 365, Friends, Funny Funnerson, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Ridiculous and Skillz
. 12 Comments

I knew it. I. Knew. It! Now I have proof.

I have Adult ADHD. I know this because I took an online test. And just like that one online test told me my soul color is green, this one gave me hard, factual numbers on this “condition” I can now officially “own”. I scored a 95 on a scale of “0 & up”. I will give the top number a “cap” of 100, just because I need boundaries… and people with ADHD need boundaries. Here’s the scale given on the site:
0-24: No ADHD Likely
25-34: Borderline ADHD
35-49: Mild ADHD
50-69: Moderate ADHD
70 & up… Adult ADHD
I scored a 95… Yup. That’d plunk me comfortably in that “Adult ADHD” category. I even tried to “soften” my answers because I am told I tend to be too hard on myself. Knowing who they are dealing with, the site gave a fun-looking graphic, so as to keep my attention… I think the badge could have used a little Flash animation…

Continue reading ‘I knew it. I. Knew. It! Now I have proof.’

Published
by
jenny
on November 4, 2008
in 365, Bloggy Bloggy, Fa' Real?, Friends, General, Kerry Jen-Jen and Ridiculous
. 15 Comments

WhothinksIhaveeatentoomuchcandy…

DoYOUthinkIhaveeatentoomuchcandy?

Idon’tthinkIhaveeatentoomuchcandy.

ThereisnowaythatIhaveeatentoomuchcandy.

IstheresuchathingasTOOMUCHCANDY?

Whereisthespacebaronthisthing?

Ican’tseethespacebar.Spacebarsareoverrated…

Spacebar?Isthatanewcandy?IsitlikeaMilkyWay?

IfIinventedanewcandyI’dnameit”Spacebar”,

andit’dhaveedibleglitteronitandPopRocks.

Ooh!AnotherButterfinger!Righton!

Imean,whatonearthmakesyouthinkI’vehadtoomuchcandy…

Toomuchcandy…Sacrilege!

Pllllbbbbbbtttt!!!

Whatever.

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

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Published
by
jenny
on November 1, 2008
in 365, Bloggy Bloggy, Eats, General, Kerry Jen-Jen and Ridiculous
. 7 Comments

An exhaustive account of the 20th anniversary of My 16th birthday.

“Exhaustive??? Why???” 

  • It was exhausting. You’ll see why.
  • I suffer from a condition called “Self-Importance”, and symptoms of that very painful condition include (but are not limited to) the use of too many words in blog posts, multiple references to oneself, and the capitalization of words such as “Me” or “My”. I exhaust Myself just having to deal with Me. 
  • Lisa’s husband Mark took lots of pictures, and who am I to withhold such talent from My Public?
  • It’s My blog, that’s why.
  • I just wanted there to be one more bullet. Multiple bullet-points look important and validate My feelings about Myself.

The first picture is of Lisa and Me. I recently declared Myself the President of The Dance Party. Lisa graciously took the position as my VP. The girl represents! One look at the following picture, and there is no arguing that we truly deserve to be the Prez & V.P. of… The Dance Party. We hold nothing back. No. Thing. I mean - she’s not even touching the ground, and somehow I managed to NOT put my own eye out!

I’m sorry. Every time I look at this picture I nearly pee My pants. Excuse me. I’ll get back to this post in a minute… 

Alright. *scoots chair back in* Continue reading ‘An exhaustive account of the 20th anniversary of My 16th birthday.’

Published
by
jenny
on October 28, 2008
in 365, Dance, Delusions of Grandeur, Friends, Funny Funnerson, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Ridiculous and The Love
. 16 Comments

I am almost just like Kevin Bacon.

OK, you got me. The above statement is not entirely true.

What now?! 

Alright. The statement my chosen title makes is a gross misrepresentation, but can’t a girl dream?

This post is the long, winding story of my sixteenth birthday… my Sweet Sixteen. This is the story of a young, hormonal teen who did not get to attend her 16th birthday party. 

Why have I chosen to talk about this now? I am sharing this story now because in 1-ish weeks I will be turning 36. For those of you who cannot read between the lines - this year is the Twentieth Anniversary of my Sixteenth Birthday. I have lived to tell, I have lived to tell…
Continue reading ‘I am almost just like Kevin Bacon.’

Published
by
jenny
on October 17, 2008
in 365, Dance, Friends, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mental Pause and The Love
. 11 Comments

Confession - I am a Scarfaholic.

I LUV ME MAH SCARVES.

As I pulled out my winter scarves, I felt like a magician pulling scarves from a top hat. I just kept going and going and going… My Scarfaholism is not due to an irrational fear of Vampires - nor is my neck the coldest part on my body. My butt and my feet are my coldest “parts”. And while I will wear thick socks to keep the tootsies warm… I will not wear socks on my butt. That is just not a good look for me… 

I wear scarves because they add a smidge more warmth - like a blanket for your neck! They are also a nice little “accessory”… A little pop of color to brighten up a dreary Fall or Winter day… I might even say, “the scarf” was my original “confidence prop“. 

A scarf can also double as a noose - when one’s young children tug on it to get attention. Good times. But like my Grandma used to tell me in the 80’s when I’d complain about the stinging pain on my scalp from the activator in the perm treatment, “Pain for beauty, Kerry… Pain for beauty…” I love my Gramma. Maybe I’ll give her a scarf for Christmas…

*****

I met an very angry hot dog today. It seems he was not so “hot” about the idea of being microwaved to death for lunch.

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

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Published
by
jenny
on October 16, 2008
in 365, Beauty - ha!, Eats, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, The Confessional and The Love
. 11 Comments

I am so tired after watching my friend have a baby yesterday.

I mean, really. My friend Emily got to lay in bed all day. All. Day! How hard is that? Sheesh. I had to, like, steer clear of nurses, keep tabs on ice chips and be the “Kodak moment” watchdog. Yeah. I was the photographer and you don’t even know how hard that job is! The most hurtful thing of it all was, nobody gave ME any ice chips! The nerve. The role of “photographer” is definitely the hardest job of anyone in the birthing room. Definitely. (BTW, Krysta at 5×5 project… I have several absolutely AWESOME “new” picture options… decisions, decisions!!!)…

Anyway. Like I said, I. Was. So. Tired…

Being “all supportive” with 3 other women who were being “all supportive”. THAT is exhausting WORK, ya know??? We were like regular court jesters… making Emily laugh and fetching things. I am just thankful Emily had an epidural, ‘cuz if she didn’t - I might have had to DO something besides hog the couch and perform the occasional high-kick, like… rub her back or help her breathe or tell her she was doing a good job. Lame. Like, THAT’S any fun. Oh. Wait. The other friends DID that stuff. Well, “yay!” them. Hello!? Photographer here! *waves hands fitfully* I took pictures of all that… *ahem* whenIwasn’thoggingthecouch. Continue reading ‘I am so tired after watching my friend have a baby yesterday.’

Published
by
jenny
on October 9, 2008
in 365, Artsy Fartsy, Delusions of Grandeur, Friends, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mutha' Hood and The Love
. 15 Comments

You can quote me on this, but link and trackback, cuz I’m all about watching my authority grow on Technorati.

When life hands you lemons, start a blog.

- Kerry On The Spot, September 2008 -

My! GOSH! Am I a flippin’ philosophic genius, or what? Oh, don’t touch me… I don’t wanna burn ya, for I. Am. On. Fire!

I am also a poet and were Ansel Adams alive, he’d prolly compliment my mad photography skillz. He’d probably say something like, “Jenny, ON THE SPOT you are! You have such an eye for composition… shading… I can almost feel the wind blowing from the ocean shore… The juxtaposition of…” And at this point all I would really hear him say is, “Praise Kerry! Praise Kerry! Praise be to the highly artistically evolved Kerry! Oh the highly gifted Kerry! You bring balance to nature and have a great sense of style… You bring the “yin” to the “yang”… The “feng” to the “shui”… The “peanut” to the “butter”…”  

So. Are you ready? Are you ready to see what happens when mad photography skillz and phenomenal poetry unite in perfect harmony? Are you sure you are ready? I mean, the peoples of the world might actually join as one - hand in hand due to this one piece of artistic genius I created… You may want to sit down for this:

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Now that I have reeled you in, may I ask your advice? Do these shells make my the butt of a perfect stranger look big? Or does my this butt of a perfect stranger make these shells look small?

Also, do you think I could pull off the whole “mermaid look” for Halloween?

Just trying to figure out my costume for when I walk downtown nabbin’ the good candy from the merchants before all the little people get it. *Note to the very kind, but obviously clueless candy-hander-outer people: Don’t hand out those little looks-just-like-a-strawberry wrapped candy! No one wants those! My Public wants Kit-Kats, Butterfingers, Reese’s peanut butter cups, Snickers… Give the people what they want!

**A post-publish edit… Candy people: All Adither wants Laffy Taffy and Skittles. I can’t have any until my braces come off - so Angie - you can have mine :)

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And that, My Public, is why one should never eat brownies for breakfast. Children spin and tumble and tear curtains off windows when they have brownies for breakfast… This blogger gal right here, at this URL, she spins too - tales of grandeur! She also tumbles… truth into a web of insanity! Oh, and she might literally tear curtains of her walls, but that’s only because she has a poor sense of balance.

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

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Published
by
jenny
on September 24, 2008
in 365, Delusions of Grandeur, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mental Pause, Poetry and The Butt Series
. 14 Comments

The Tri Turtle Triathlon: Pictures and Commentary

My name is Kerry and I finished a triathlon a couple-a weeks ago (1/2 mile swim, 15 mile bike, 3.2 mile run). Here I am waiting for the swim start in my very cool bright green cap. Just waiting with 240 of my closest friends…

The 17th person out of the swim was… ME. I will not post a picture of that… instead I have chosen a photo of me starting the run portion… This would be the beginning of the run… After the bike - in which I placed 98th… I only lost, like 80 places after the swim… that’s all.

By the end of the run, I felt like this:

Continue reading ‘The Tri Turtle Triathlon: Pictures and Commentary’

Published
by
jenny
on September 17, 2008
in 365, General, Kerry Jen-Jen and Swim/Bike/Run
. 11 Comments

Note to self: The age of “three” is not the “age of reason”… and whatnot

 

When a 3-year-old says “I need help!”, she is really saying, “Psych! I just wanted you to stop the very important task you were accomplishing. I actually really want to do this BY. MY. SELF. IdoitIdoitIdoit! I. DO. IT. BY. MY. SEWF!   !!!!!”

Also, and most importantly, even though you know that her request for help is her own little science experiment to test the time-space continuum between you and her… offer your help anyway. For if you do not respond, she will turn into a tornado with fangs and talons. Or at least she will scream at decibels so high one’s skull could crack.

This behavior makes absolutely no sense, but that is how it is with a three-year-old. One other note, pray without ceasing.

Continue reading ‘Note to self: The age of “three” is not the “age of reason”… and whatnot’

Published
by
jenny
on September 10, 2008
in 365, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Lucy and Note to Self
. 10 Comments