Archive for the 'Jenny Jen-Jen' CategoryPage 2 of 22

I am almost just like Kevin Bacon.

OK, you got me. The above statement is not entirely true.

What now?! 

Alright. The statement my chosen title makes is a gross misrepresentation, but can’t a girl dream?

This post is the long, winding story of my sixteenth birthday… my Sweet Sixteen. This is the story of a young, hormonal teen who did not get to attend her 16th birthday party. 

Why have I chosen to talk about this now? I am sharing this story now because in 1-ish weeks I will be turning 36. For those of you who cannot read between the lines - this year is the Twentieth Anniversary of my Sixteenth Birthday. I have lived to tell, I have lived to tell…
Continue reading ‘I am almost just like Kevin Bacon.’

Published
by
jenny
on October 17, 2008
in 365, Dance, Friends, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mental Pause and The Love
. 11 Comments

Confession - I am a Scarfaholic.

I LUV ME MAH SCARVES.

As I pulled out my winter scarves, I felt like a magician pulling scarves from a top hat. I just kept going and going and going… My Scarfaholism is not due to an irrational fear of Vampires - nor is my neck the coldest part on my body. My butt and my feet are my coldest “parts”. And while I will wear thick socks to keep the tootsies warm… I will not wear socks on my butt. That is just not a good look for me… 

I wear scarves because they add a smidge more warmth - like a blanket for your neck! They are also a nice little “accessory”… A little pop of color to brighten up a dreary Fall or Winter day… I might even say, “the scarf” was my original “confidence prop“. 

A scarf can also double as a noose - when one’s young children tug on it to get attention. Good times. But like my Grandma used to tell me in the 80’s when I’d complain about the stinging pain on my scalp from the activator in the perm treatment, “Pain for beauty, Kerry… Pain for beauty…” I love my Gramma. Maybe I’ll give her a scarf for Christmas…

*****

I met an very angry hot dog today. It seems he was not so “hot” about the idea of being microwaved to death for lunch.

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

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Published
by
jenny
on October 16, 2008
in 365, Beauty - ha!, Eats, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, The Confessional and The Love
. 11 Comments

I am so tired after watching my friend have a baby yesterday.

I mean, really. My friend Emily got to lay in bed all day. All. Day! How hard is that? Sheesh. I had to, like, steer clear of nurses, keep tabs on ice chips and be the “Kodak moment” watchdog. Yeah. I was the photographer and you don’t even know how hard that job is! The most hurtful thing of it all was, nobody gave ME any ice chips! The nerve. The role of “photographer” is definitely the hardest job of anyone in the birthing room. Definitely. (BTW, Krysta at 5×5 project… I have several absolutely AWESOME “new” picture options… decisions, decisions!!!)…

Anyway. Like I said, I. Was. So. Tired…

Being “all supportive” with 3 other women who were being “all supportive”. THAT is exhausting WORK, ya know??? We were like regular court jesters… making Emily laugh and fetching things. I am just thankful Emily had an epidural, ‘cuz if she didn’t - I might have had to DO something besides hog the couch and perform the occasional high-kick, like… rub her back or help her breathe or tell her she was doing a good job. Lame. Like, THAT’S any fun. Oh. Wait. The other friends DID that stuff. Well, “yay!” them. Hello!? Photographer here! *waves hands fitfully* I took pictures of all that… *ahem* whenIwasn’thoggingthecouch. Continue reading ‘I am so tired after watching my friend have a baby yesterday.’

Published
by
jenny
on October 9, 2008
in 365, Artsy Fartsy, Delusions of Grandeur, Friends, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mutha' Hood and The Love
. 15 Comments

You can quote me on this, but link and trackback, cuz I’m all about watching my authority grow on Technorati.

When life hands you lemons, start a blog.

- Kerry On The Spot, September 2008 -

My! GOSH! Am I a flippin’ philosophic genius, or what? Oh, don’t touch me… I don’t wanna burn ya, for I. Am. On. Fire!

I am also a poet and were Ansel Adams alive, he’d prolly compliment my mad photography skillz. He’d probably say something like, “Jenny, ON THE SPOT you are! You have such an eye for composition… shading… I can almost feel the wind blowing from the ocean shore… The juxtaposition of…” And at this point all I would really hear him say is, “Praise Kerry! Praise Kerry! Praise be to the highly artistically evolved Kerry! Oh the highly gifted Kerry! You bring balance to nature and have a great sense of style… You bring the “yin” to the “yang”… The “feng” to the “shui”… The “peanut” to the “butter”…”  

So. Are you ready? Are you ready to see what happens when mad photography skillz and phenomenal poetry unite in perfect harmony? Are you sure you are ready? I mean, the peoples of the world might actually join as one - hand in hand due to this one piece of artistic genius I created… You may want to sit down for this:

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Now that I have reeled you in, may I ask your advice? Do these shells make my the butt of a perfect stranger look big? Or does my this butt of a perfect stranger make these shells look small?

Also, do you think I could pull off the whole “mermaid look” for Halloween?

Just trying to figure out my costume for when I walk downtown nabbin’ the good candy from the merchants before all the little people get it. *Note to the very kind, but obviously clueless candy-hander-outer people: Don’t hand out those little looks-just-like-a-strawberry wrapped candy! No one wants those! My Public wants Kit-Kats, Butterfingers, Reese’s peanut butter cups, Snickers… Give the people what they want!

**A post-publish edit… Candy people: All Adither wants Laffy Taffy and Skittles. I can’t have any until my braces come off - so Angie - you can have mine :)

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And that, My Public, is why one should never eat brownies for breakfast. Children spin and tumble and tear curtains off windows when they have brownies for breakfast… This blogger gal right here, at this URL, she spins too - tales of grandeur! She also tumbles… truth into a web of insanity! Oh, and she might literally tear curtains of her walls, but that’s only because she has a poor sense of balance.

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

Click here and Feed Me!

 

Published
by
jenny
on September 24, 2008
in 365, Delusions of Grandeur, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mental Pause, Poetry and The Butt Series
. 14 Comments

The Tri Turtle Triathlon: Pictures and Commentary

My name is Kerry and I finished a triathlon a couple-a weeks ago (1/2 mile swim, 15 mile bike, 3.2 mile run). Here I am waiting for the swim start in my very cool bright green cap. Just waiting with 240 of my closest friends…

The 17th person out of the swim was… ME. I will not post a picture of that… instead I have chosen a photo of me starting the run portion… This would be the beginning of the run… After the bike - in which I placed 98th… I only lost, like 80 places after the swim… that’s all.

By the end of the run, I felt like this:

Continue reading ‘The Tri Turtle Triathlon: Pictures and Commentary’

Published
by
jenny
on September 17, 2008
in 365, General, Kerry Jen-Jen and Swim/Bike/Run
. 11 Comments

Note to self: The age of “three” is not the “age of reason”… and whatnot

 

When a 3-year-old says “I need help!”, she is really saying, “Psych! I just wanted you to stop the very important task you were accomplishing. I actually really want to do this BY. MY. SELF. IdoitIdoitIdoit! I. DO. IT. BY. MY. SEWF!   !!!!!”

Also, and most importantly, even though you know that her request for help is her own little science experiment to test the time-space continuum between you and her… offer your help anyway. For if you do not respond, she will turn into a tornado with fangs and talons. Or at least she will scream at decibels so high one’s skull could crack.

This behavior makes absolutely no sense, but that is how it is with a three-year-old. One other note, pray without ceasing.

Continue reading ‘Note to self: The age of “three” is not the “age of reason”… and whatnot’

Published
by
jenny
on September 10, 2008
in 365, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Lucy and Note to Self
. 10 Comments

Update: A triathlon finish.

It’s official. Just call me “Jack Kerry of all trades, master of definitely not biking, nor running for that matter… swimming is not so bad, but definitely not biking.” Or “Sporty Snail” for short, just not to my face… 

After much debating with my own self about whether or not to participate in the Tri Turtle Tri, a local sprint(plus) triathlon (1/2 mile swim, 15 mile bike & 3.2 mile run)… I sent in my registration and a check. I registered very late… which earned me a finishers medal from last year. But hey, a participation medal is a participation medal is a participation medal. Yay for the highly esteemed and accomplished participant of many faster or slower participants! 

What was this post about? Oh yeah, it’s about a tri I did (today) in 2008… in which I received… a 2007 medal. In school, a student gets detention for turning in her book report late… in triathlons a participant gets last year’s medal! I love it!

This is a post about the tri in which my swim went swimmingly.

This is a post about the tri in which I am glad my swim went well, because it gave me great pleasure to give most of the participants lots of opportunity to pass me. I’m a giver, people. Pass, pass, pass…

This is a post about the tri in which, during the run my body felt like a bag of cement left out in the rain. This is where I confess to you I wished that I had choked on one of the bugs I encountered when I ran through a bug “cloud”, so I’d have a reason to give for running slow… “I choked on a big nasty bug and it was so gross I had to stop and throw it up!!!” Then as I ran past a bee I thought, “I wish a bee would sting me so I could have a really good reason why…” I’m not right.

Plus, during the run, I pulled/damaged/destroyed a couple muscles in a region I was previously unaware existed in the human body. How on earth? 

BUT. I finished. I even finished fairly well. I don’t have the results just yet, and I was a dork an forgot to hit my watch timer to track my times. But I feel good right now… I ate ribs and cheesy garlic toast for dinner at Claim Jumper. Proper calorie replacement - I can’t emphasize how important that is…

And my pulled muscles? Fine - since I am sitting in my bed and not moving. 

Nighty-nite :)

 

 

Published
by
jenny
on September 7, 2008
in 365, General, Kerry Jen-Jen and Swim/Bike/Run
. 7 Comments

Confidence “Props”

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, then success is sure.

Mark Twain

I got to thinking about confidence today. As far as ignorance goes - I got that covered. That “thinking” all started as I crafted a fine bowl of tasty mashed potatoes for dinner. Only the very best for my family.

I revved up that hand mixer while wearing black pants that I intended to wear out in public later in the evening… to my son’s soccer practice, but in public nonetheless. Despite my best efforts I found I was flinging chunks of mashed taters all over the kitchen and the aforementioned black pants destined for public viewing. I assessed the situation and dug out my apron.

In the moments between donning my 10 year-old, under-utilized apron and returning to tater-flinging (largely due the fact that the bowl I chose was far too shallow… but she was a favorite - a very attractive, delightful porcelain white bowl with a chunky rim… like you care…) I became someone else. “Jenny, the Wonder Cook”…. or “Jenny, Tater Beater Extraordinaire”… or “Jenny, Master of Food Stuffs”… or “Jenny - Butch, Baker, Fabulous Mashed Potato Maker.” 

Continue reading ‘Confidence “Props”’

Published
by
jenny
on September 6, 2008
in 365, Eats, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mental Pause and Ridiculous
. 7 Comments

And THAT, my friends, is how it’s done…

Did you have opportunity to read yesterday’s post? I was a pathetic, overwhelmed, wallering mess. Very real-feeling, but pathetic and wallering… undoubtedly.

Wal-ler-ing:

v. when a chubby baby is oozing pints of green snot and her chubby hands rub, rub, rub that snot all over her cheeks and eyes and ears and hair. She wails because it’s miserable, but she keeps smearing the snot all over her chubby-helpless-baby being because she doesn’t even know what a tissue is! Poor baby! Somebody get her a mother!

I digress… when I write “wallering” - it is the adult equivalent of that. A helpless, emotional mess.

But you know what? In the moments between me emotionally and verbally vomitting the contents of my pre-menstrual aching brain all over the stinkin’ world wide world of the internet… Aunto Flo came knockin’. I clicked “publish” headed to bed, and… ummm… “answered the door”, if you will.

(Men? Did you stop reading?)

I knew it! I. Knew. It. I knew she coming, but there’s a window of 3-5 days. She’s not a good planner, that Aunt Flo.

And still… my under active thyroid is a problem.

Yes, the “too much to do and not enough time” thing is also still a problem.

Yes, the whole thing about my brain not stopping… EVERRR… that is also still a problem…

The guilt… the guilt… and the more guilt about ruining my children forever - is. still. a. problem.

Also, why does health insurance cost so much?

However. How. Ever. When Aunt Flo comes for her monthly visit - the week before her arrival she sends a magnifying glass that magnifies stuff. Imagine that! A magnifying glass that magnifies stuff! I am such a creative writer.

That magnifying glass increases in it’s magnificity (-ficiocity… -ficiousness… -ficitude…) as the day of Auntie’s arrival draws closer, until… KaPow! I finally see that the magnifying glass had been aiming a magnified beam of hot sun directly on my soul and conscience and the one nerve I have left. 

Thank you dear friends (and family!) for your encouragement - not just in this post, but also in the multitudes before. Though I have not visited back in awhile, and can’t seem to keep up on replying to your comments… you keep encouraging me. And I am endeared to you… I WILL be catching up with each one of you. I have my hopes pinned on when school starts next week. Or sooner… or the week after. But I’ll be back… giving comment smooches, linky love, and handing out a diverse array of awards… or something. 

:)

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

Click here and Feed Me!

Published
by
jenny
on August 28, 2008
in 365, Bloggy Bloggy, Guilt, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mental Pause and Mutha' Hood
. 3 Comments

Thick with thought.

Do you know what I mean? The constant spinning of one’s mind. Thought after thought after thought builds on thought after thought after thought… Free association, if you will.

The list of to-do’s… The consequences of not accomplishing the to-do’s… What NEEDS to be done? What on that list is do or die? If I don’t “do” who or what will die? Really? OMG. How will it all get done?

Then there’s the guilt. If I had managed my time better… If I had done “this” instead of “that”. I wish I had paid closer attention. I should have told he kids “NO”. I should have told the kids “NO” and made sure they listened. I should have let them help me. I can’t believe Livi will be in first grade.

Should I homeschool her? I homeschooled Cole for first grade. It was so hard. But it was so wonderful. I’m not ready for her to be at school all day. I feel so sad. I feel relieved that school starts next week. I don’t really know how I feel. I feel like crying. I don’t want her gone all day.

Continue reading ‘Thick with thought.’

Published
by
jenny
on August 27, 2008
in 365, General, Guilt, Homeschooling, Kerry Jen-Jen and Mutha' Hood
. 15 Comments