Archive for the 'Mutha' Hood' CategoryPage 2 of 28

A family adventure: the corn maze

My kids crack me up. My kids also make me cry. I am in a constant state of overwhelm when it comes to my offspring… the greatest of joys and the deepest of frustrations.

Our outing to a local corn maze on Saturday was an extended time of joy for me as a mom. I watched my kids work together to make it through the corn maze. We laughed. We wandered, and the only sense of urgency was toward the end when the girls needed to pee. But we made it. Praise! Be! *raises hand to Heaven*. A pee accident would have totally ruined everything.

See? Joy to desperation in one flex of an not-completely-trained 3-year-old bladder… I am thrilled there was no accident. I can’t even express how truly, deeply happy that makes me. If you had asked me 20 years ago, “Jenny, what do you think would be one of the highlights of your 30’s?” I NEVER would have guessed that having an accident-free outing with my family would be at the top of the list. Never. Neh. Vah. People - it COMPLETELY eclipses things like world travel and world domination. Just pee-pee on the potty for the youngest. That’s me life goal.

Here we are, having a wonderful time as a family…

It’s a sickness. I love rules.

Look! The maze is the the shape of an Orca whale!

Family meeting: What’s the game plan, folks?

We made it! Cole was so impressed by our corn maze skillz!

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Local folks - looking for a fun outing for your family? Head on over to Sunrise Hill Farm in Kingston. Of course, there is a FANTASTIC corn maze, but, BUT… there is also a tricycle area for the little ones, a mini hay-bale maze, a pumpkin patch, and on Saturday nights they show a movie when it’s dark enough! They have a couple of bon-fires going and the snack stand has something for everyone… It feels like a great-big cozy outdoor living room. It was the most wonderful place to wander… They are open Wednesday through Sunday until Halloween. Seattle-area people… it is worth the ferry trip. Totally.

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Published
by
jenny
on October 21, 2008
in 365, Family, General, Joel, Lucy, Mutha' Hood, Olivia, Spawn, Take My Advice, The Love and Trippin'
. 15 Comments

An excerpt:

This is “basically” what I heard from my 9 year-old son All. The. Way. to church this morning. It’s a 20 minute drive… This is only a brief excerpt… because I love you.

Talk chatterchatter talk chatterchatter snot andthen BLAM! KAPOW! SCHPEW!SCHPEW!SCHPEW!!! talk chatterchatter talktalktalk andandand andandthenthenthen talk chatterchatter talk BOOM! BAM! ZOINK!!! SSSSCHOWWWW!!! andthensnot talk chatterchatter talk poop andthenandand green PEWPEWPEW!BOOOOOM!!! fart poop snot andand talk chatterchatter talktalktalk farty fart-fart EWWW! KABLOOEY!!! PLBBBBTTTT!!! talk chatterchatter talktalktalk andthen evil talk chatterchater evil talktalktalk… wasn’t that a funny dream, Mom?

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Published
by
jenny
on October 19, 2008
in 365, General, Joel, Mutha' Hood and Spawn
. 8 Comments

I am so tired after watching my friend have a baby yesterday.

I mean, really. My friend Emily got to lay in bed all day. All. Day! How hard is that? Sheesh. I had to, like, steer clear of nurses, keep tabs on ice chips and be the “Kodak moment” watchdog. Yeah. I was the photographer and you don’t even know how hard that job is! The most hurtful thing of it all was, nobody gave ME any ice chips! The nerve. The role of “photographer” is definitely the hardest job of anyone in the birthing room. Definitely. (BTW, Krysta at 5×5 project… I have several absolutely AWESOME “new” picture options… decisions, decisions!!!)…

Anyway. Like I said, I. Was. So. Tired…

Being “all supportive” with 3 other women who were being “all supportive”. THAT is exhausting WORK, ya know??? We were like regular court jesters… making Emily laugh and fetching things. I am just thankful Emily had an epidural, ‘cuz if she didn’t - I might have had to DO something besides hog the couch and perform the occasional high-kick, like… rub her back or help her breathe or tell her she was doing a good job. Lame. Like, THAT’S any fun. Oh. Wait. The other friends DID that stuff. Well, “yay!” them. Hello!? Photographer here! *waves hands fitfully* I took pictures of all that… *ahem* whenIwasn’thoggingthecouch. Continue reading ‘I am so tired after watching my friend have a baby yesterday.’

Published
by
jenny
on October 9, 2008
in 365, Artsy Fartsy, Delusions of Grandeur, Friends, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mutha' Hood and The Love
. 15 Comments

If my son had any concept of time

I’d be really mad. But he doesn’t, so I am cutting him a whole lotta slack lately. When he expresses his observations about “the years of old”, he has no idea he is TOTALLY callin’ his mutha an Old Lady. He sees black and white photos and thinks they are pictures of the/my old days (a.k.a. “When YOU were a kid, Mom…”)… but he takes it a step further. He actually thinks that trees and such were in black and white “back in the/my day”. 

Oh mah achin’ back! Where’s that blasted-dum-diggity heating pad?

So, today he hits me with some questions that leave me reaching for my dentures cane a bit insulted. Take a peek at the following picture:

That there faucet belongs to a house in which friends live. Isn’t that a REALLY COOL faucet?! It’s so retro, like this old-school water pump, yes? Continue reading ‘If my son had any concept of time’

Published
by
jenny
on October 5, 2008
in 365, Funny Funnerson, General, Joel, Mutha' Hood and Spawn
. 6 Comments

It’s been nearly 20 years…

since I turned 16. Around here, we are gearing up for a big celebration of that anniversary at the end of October. And all this planning to celebrate an event that happened 20 years ago has me feeling a bit nostalgic. As I was cleaning the basement today, I came across my old high school year books. I looked through my 1988 and 1989 yearbooks, and read through some of the thoughtful notes my friends wrote to me…

Hey Kerry. Stay cool and rad. Brian F.

O.K. Bri… will do. 

As I am giggling to myself, my 9 year old son wanders over. He wants to know what’s so dern funny. He looks at some of the photos with me. As I flip through the pages, I recognize the insecure girl that was me 20 years ago. I am not much different from that girl today… ‘ceptin’ I’m not as hyper… I’m sorry. That’s not true. Continue reading ‘It’s been nearly 20 years…’

Published
by
jenny
on September 21, 2008
in 365, Fa' Real?, General, Joel, Mutha' Hood and Spawn
. 10 Comments

Parents of the Year?

One evening recently, Paul and I shared a beer over dinner. Our 9 year old son, Cole, asked when he’d be able to have a beer. That’s easy. I told him, “When you’re 21.” He said, “That’s like in 12 years!”

He’s so good with math.

Because I have a disconnected connector in my “appropriate” box, I continued… “And your first beer is going to be with Mom and Dad! You remember that, you’ll have your first beer with mom and dad.” Oh, can you just feel the trouble coming…

A couple of days later, Cole was alone with his dad and me in the car. We were bantering back and forth… giggling… having a nice time… like buddies at a bar… And out of the blue, my little poke about his first beer reared it’s hoppy, malted head… Cole inquired, 

Is this what it’s going to be like when you guys take me for a beer?

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Published
by
jenny
on September 14, 2008
in Fa' Real?, General, Joel and Mutha' Hood
. 5 Comments

“Poo-poo” demystified

Me (the Mom): Cole, where are you?

My 3-year-old, Cole: I’m in he-ere.

Me: Oh. Going potty?

Lucy: No going poo-poo.

Me: Do you need me to help you wipe?

Lucy: No. I do it by mysewf.

Lucy: I all done! (giggling) That poo-poo floats! It big like my head.

Lucy: Mama?! Does poo-poo have a birfday?

Me: Does poo-poo have a birthday???

Lucy: Does poo-poo have a birfday, Mama?

Me: No poo-poo does NOT have a birthday, honey.

Lucy to her big-sister, giggling: Wivia! Poo-Poo not have a birfday!”

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Published
by
jenny
on September 14, 2008
in 365, Funny Funnerson, General, Lucy, Mutha' Hood and Spawn
. 4 Comments

Confessions of a new soccer mom.

Oooh. That sounds so, so… 90210 (with Brenda and Kelly and Brandon and Dillon, not that new-fangled show - I am ALL about “old school”)… but back to soccer. I am writing about a new way of life for me, for my family. I am laying it all out, like a well-prepared student does with his/her clothing the night before school.

It all stated back in 197? when my dad made me play soccer because he was the coach. My poor dad. He never had a chance. 

I mean - look at me (I’m the princess on the left - the princess on the right is Jen from Preteens, Toddlers, Newborns, Oh My!). How on earth does such an adorable little girl EVER play soccer??? Huh??? Hello!!! She TWIRLS! She PICKS DANDELIONS! Princesses do not “play” soccer. At least, not in the way The Soccer People intended. Continue reading ‘Confessions of a new soccer mom.’

Published
by
jenny
on September 13, 2008
in 365, Family, General, Guilt, Joel, Mutha' Hood, The Confessional and iPhone
. 7 Comments

Confession Log - Tuesday, September 9, 2008. 1300 hours.

I yelled at my kids today. Really. Yelled. I think I popped a blood vessel in my neck. I know the kids’ eyes nearly popped outta their heads at all the yellin’ that went on… Oh how beautiful their dear mother must have looked to them as she frothed at the mouth… (frothed??? I am mentally deficient today… What? Now suddenly froth is what comes from the mouth of a rabid dog???!!!) …. Let’s take it from the top … Oh how beautiful their dear mother must have looked to them as she FOAMED at the mouth like a rabid dog while giving them a piece of her strung-out mind.

I sped.

I bought a mocha. Gotta watch the budget - buying fru-fru coffee needs to stop… except maybe once a week… or during a crisis… like mornings I yell at my kids and need to sooth my filthy-blackened-rotting soul.

My laptop bag strap slipped off my shoulder and fell to the ground. Obviously, said laptop was not damaged.

I ate my leftover food from Claim Jumper for lunch: roasted chicken, 2 ribs, a fried cheesy-potato patty coated in bread crumbs, and Cole’s leftover mac-n-cheese. So much for that 4 mile run and 300 burned calories this morning.

My lunch chaser: a Twinkie. 

Did I mention I REALLY yelled at my kids this morning. I suppose I should be comforted by the fact I feel bad about it. That may be the only difference between me and the Night Stalker - guilt/ a conscience… Oh, and the fact that I’m a woman and he’s not. And I may be better lookin’, but that’s subjective.

Hey - a whole half of the day is left! Oh boy, what who else can I ruin?

Update, 1600+hours: I am a lip gloss FIEND. I couldn’t find any of the 13 thousand dozen I own, so I used my 6-year-old daughters Camp Rock lip gloss. All day.

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Published
by
jenny
on September 9, 2008
in 365, General, Mutha' Hood and The Confessional
. 15 Comments

The first day of school - pictures and all!

Whew. I made it. For some reason, sending my daughter off to 1st grade - a FULL day of school was terribly hard. It hurt. I ached. I cried. I felt silly. My son was headed to third, the wee one was tearing it up at preschool. With those two - we hugged and waved, but my heart-strings stayed intact.

But my 6 year-old little girl… so “old”, but still so young. All day? Really??? As I left the classroom her teacher put her arm around my shoulder and asked if everything was alright. As tears filled my eyes like water fills a just-flushed toilet I squeaked, “She is, but I’m not.” I walked into the pod and saw a fellow mom (whose daughter was in Cole’s morning kindergarten class last year), and she was also teary-eyed. We talked for quite awhile. It was good - otherwise I might have made my way to my car and fallen into a weeping pile of… weepness.

It’s not that Cole is “easy” or perfect… but she’s my girl. And as messy and relentless as she is, she’s my precious little girl who will be gone most of 5 of 7 days of the week. Is that right? I know…I’ll get over it, but if anyone wants to get a coffee with me tomorrow morning… I’ll be at… email me :)

In other “First Day of School News” - Continue reading ‘The first day of school - pictures and all!’

Published
by
jenny
on September 3, 2008
in 365, General, Guilt, Joel, Lucy, Mutha' Hood, Olivia and Spawn
. 14 Comments