Maybe I’ll give reverse psychology a chance. {{{Que trance music… Commence swinging of pocket watch in pendulum manner…}}}:
Candy Cane Oreos taste like poop. Candy Cane Oreos are of the Devil. The crunch of Candy Cane Oreos are reminiscent of the feeling of biting into a cockroach. Candy Cane Oreos carry the plague. Candy Cane Oreos will render you incontinent. Candy Cane Oreos cause halitosis and extreme lisping. Eating Candy Cane Oreos will usher in the reign of the anti-christ. If you buy a bag of Candy Cane Oreos you will spontaneously combust. Consuming Candy Cane Oreos WILL NOT bring world peace…
I hope that helps, because if it don’t — either I need to plan on eating Candy Cane Oreos whilst running on the treadmill… or I need to go buy new pants with elastic waist bands and lots of milk.
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Eat more of this:
‘Nuf said.
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When a 3-year-old says “I need help!”, she is really saying, “Psych! I just wanted you to stop the very important task you were accomplishing. I actually really want to do this BY. MY. SELF. IdoitIdoitIdoit! I. DO. IT. BY. MY. SEWF! !!!!!”
Also, and most importantly, even though you know that her request for help is her own little science experiment to test the time-space continuum between you and her… offer your help anyway. For if you do not respond, she will turn into a tornado with fangs and talons. Or at least she will scream at decibels so high one’s skull could crack.
This behavior makes absolutely no sense, but that is how it is with a three-year-old. One other note, pray without ceasing.
Continue reading ‘Note to self: The age of “three” is not the “age of reason”… and whatnot’
When camping, consider a new “path” for that leg hair. Braiding, perhaps? For oft-times the showers at camp are glorified caves with plumbing. A simple equation of words will demonstrate:
“Cave” = “Cold”
“Cold” = “Goose Bumps”
Alas…
“Shaving” + “Goose Bumps” = “Bloody stump of a leg”
Just say “NO!” to camp shaving.
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Welcome to my new series, Note to Self. In this series I will simply post the mental notes to myself I usually leave and lose in my mind. Without further ado, my very first…
When your 6 year old daughter asks to listen to music “with a girl singing” - don’t play Madonna. Songs titled “Into the Groove” and “Lucky Star” seem innocent enough - until you watch your daughter lip-syncing the lyrics, “…touch my body…”. That’s just wrong. Very. Wrong.
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