Kerry On the Spot

on January 3, 2009

in Bloggy Bloggy, Delusions of Grandeur, Fa' Real?, General, Mutha' Hood, Not So Much and Ridiculous

. 7 Comments

It is the last day of the year!

Happy last day of the year-ness to you! I was really struggling with what to post today. It is a very special day… the last of 2008… my last day of the Blog 365 challenge… Which I successfully completed thankyouverymuch. Yet I still wonder if I have been able to really show you who I am(s). I just hate to think that we have spent so much time together and I held back even one small ounce. I want to be open and honest… I want to be sure I wrap this wonderful year up with the perfect post.

Who… or what is this blog about? Yes… Me. And what kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t give you as much of me as I possibly could? Batten down the hatches people… for today you get to meet My best friend. We had a wonderful time together yesterday. We took lots and lots and lots of pictures TOGETHER. I want to share them with you. My BFF is vibrant. She is beautiful. She is smart and witty and loads of fun to be around…. She makes the world a better place… Because we look so much alike, I should tell you, she’s the one on the left.
Continue reading ‘It is the last day of the year!’

Published

on December 31, 2008

in 365, Friends, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Ridiculous and Wasting Time

. 38 Comments

My 1000th Post, that’s right.

Dear Friends, family, lurkers… My Public,

I want to thank your for your comments. Your hits, your visits, your searches, your never-ending devotion. I adore you. I love you. I. Need. You. I could never have made it to my 1000th post without YOU. It has taken nearly 5 years to make it to this milestone, and I want you to know… I know. But I wonder, do you? Know? Do you really know Me? I wonder… after nearly five long years of run-ons, tangents, dangling participles, comma-obsessiveness, the abuse of exclamation points, and a myriad of other grammatical atrocities… if somewhere along the way we’ve missed what this blog is all about….

M to the E.

…And if you don’t know me by now… a special multimedia presentation - from ME to YOU:

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Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Published

on December 26, 2008

in 365, Awesome, Bloggy Bloggy, Delusions of Grandeur, General, Ridiculous and Wasting Time

. 11 Comments

My Newest Vlog - Baking Cookies for a Cookie Exchange

I don’t know why I do this. I ac’ a fool and capture it on video. Then I post it on the whole world of wide internets.It’s on the long side (6 minutes and 44 seconds), and I hate monopolizing so much of your time.

Here, *hands you a virtual eggnog latte that she made, and sprinkled with a dash of nutmeg*. You know what, friends, when I make it into the Sundance Film Festival and receive all kinds of critical acclaim *she also has issues with reality and perception*, you can say,

Hey! I KNOW her! We’re BFF’s! She made me a cuppa coffee!

If you leave a comment, I’ll even have PROOF you were here during my short time as a struggling producer/director/editor/musical scor-er/actor… and I can print out all the comments, and then… I can call you up and we could all go to the film festival together… and all my commenters would be my ENTOURAGE… and I would give you cans of glitter to spray in my general direction when the papparazzi are going WILD over the hot new “name” in film… and you could carry my sparkling water… and I would need someone to carry a fan — because I like the way I look when wind blows my hair… I think that would make me look really pretty for the papparazzi pics… And you could run to Starbucks for me because I’ve noticed actors often carry a Starbucks cup… and I’ll get a puppy to carry in my purse… and we could go to all the parties and dance… Oooh, I am getting EXCITED - we are going to have so much fun when I get famous!!!

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Published

on December 20, 2008

in 365, Delusions of Grandeur, Eats, General, Humiliation, Ridiculous, Vlogging and Wasting Time

. 12 Comments

Karen Carpenter’s vocal twin.

I am pretty sure that would be me.

You remember Karen… with her buttery voice all smooth like a clean shave sans razor burn… Even if you are not a wild fan of The Carpenters (I might fall into that category), it is absolutely inarguable - the woman’s voice is that of an angel. I will delete any comment otherwise. So, I guess what I am really trying to say might be,

I also have the voice of an angel, just like my vocal twin. You criticize her, you criticize me, and I only accept Visa, Mastercard, Discover, American Express, Paypal and COMPLIMENTS.

Got it?

So, as I took a shower… and sang “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” in *ahem* buttery tonal perfection… I TOTALLY hit a note that sounded like Karen Carpenter. Totally. I was singin’ away and I was all, “Whut the whut?” I actually looked around for the ghost of Karen Carpenter. Then I thot, like, “THAT’S NO GHOST! THAT’S THE VOICE OF A FRIGGIN’ ANGEL!” I looked around the corner to find neither angel nor ghost… and that was when I realized -

I am the vocal twin of Karen Carpenter!

I! Know! Brains, beauty, crafty skillz, dancin’ skillz, vlogging skillz, and now… singing a note just like Karen Carpenter! If “Awesome” were matter and not an adjective/verb I would totally be oozing all kinds of awesome right now. If “Awesome” were matter, I believe it would look a lot like glitter, smell a lot like chocolate. ButIdigress…

So. Back to Me Karen and Me. We are also big fans of graphic tees.

It’s uncanny, I know…

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Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Published

on December 13, 2008

in 365, Delusions of Grandeur, General, Ridiculous and Wasting Time

. 11 Comments

The Confessional - My Nubbin

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Ha. Ha.

Made ya look!

I don’t have a nubbin! I may have one GI-NORMOUS eye, but no nubbin.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa….

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Yo u can order this wonderful children’s book on Amazon.

on December 10, 2008

in 365, General, Ridiculous and The Confessional

. 8 Comments

Make Me Laugh Monday - I am an adolescent.

You may (ormaynot) already know that I am somewhat of a juvenile when it comes to my humor-style/appreciation. Simple things for simple minds? Perhaps. I prefer the term, “comedic genius”, but… you may use another term and why don’t you just keep that to yourself, m’kay pumpkin? So glad we are on the same page.

As a refresher, in case you are unfamiliar with what makes me laugh — words like “junk” and “business” and “salve” and “follicle” and… aaaanywho. You get the jist. So imagine you are in the car with me, and I drive past these advertisements:

Pretty much we are pullin’ over so I can take a minute to regain my composure… not pee my pants, and also take a picture for mah blog. And also, we will be late to your appointment… Sorry.

Or how about this… I am reading Skippyjon Jones and the Big Bones *snicker* to my childrenses one night, and imagine my moral dilemma when I read the following:

Then he popped a pickle in his puss. He slapped some glue all over his newfound bone and stuck it onto his model.

*blinking*

I can hardly write this without flopping on the floor in hysterical laugher… not unlike a 13 year old in sex-ed class. Excuse me. I need a moment…

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How many of you Twitter? If you do, you are familiar with the email alerting you to new followers. Imagine my reaction when saw this in my email subject line:

Infection is now following you on Twitter!

Quite honestly, I was sure if I should laugh or start scratching… I also recieved this alert:

Santa Clause is now following you on Twitter!

Kinda wasn’t sure whether to write him or lock my windows…

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Have something funny to share? Let’s try Mr. Linky one more week and see if he plays nice. Excited to see what ya’ll have found!

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Keep up on the ridiculous, the insightful, the always digressive…

Published

Continue reading ‘Back to “normal”.’

on December 8, 2008

in 365, General, Make Me Laugh Monday, Ridiculous and Twitter

. 8 Comments

Back to “normal”.

What a relative term… “normal”. My friend Sheila made a comment about a few recent posts that have taken a more serious tone. She has come to depend on my silliness, and she misses it. I really can’t blame her. I kind of miss my silliness too. Also, I have come to depend on Sheila’s readership individual daily impression(s) for the monetization of my blog friendship. So, Sheila, my much-adored friend with random green locks of hair… this post is for you. Mwah and mwah!

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It has been awhile since I have done any Butt Series posts. Of all the ridiculous, this particular, randomly posted feature is probably the most ridiculous. Of all my ridiculousnesses…sessseses, and such.

I do believe the timing is right for a Butt Series post - being on the tail-end (heh, pun…) of a holiday of feasting… A holiday centered on stomach stretching and stretchy pants. In observance of this American phenomenon I give you The Butt Series: A Thanksgiving Edition.

If I eat both of these pies… will they make my butt look big? What if I only use half a tub of whip?

Published

on November 30, 2008

in 365, Eats, General, Ridiculous and The Butt Series

. 6 Comments

A Thanksgiving Vlog

I have a real post about what I am REALLY thankful for… scroll down to the next post. Happy Thanksgiving, my friends and lurkers :)

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Subscribe to the RSS feed!

on November 27, 2008

in 365, Eats, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Ridiculous, The Confessional, Vlogging and Wasting Time

. 10 Comments

I am so very tired.

I mean, now that I am a legitimate vlogger… not only am I a Star… I am a Producer. A Director. A Filmmaker. I am also in charge of Craft Services. When I step back and look at all I do… and all I am… I just amaze me. No wonder I’m tired. Also…

I break dance.
I cook.
I craft.
I am a soccer mom.
I age.
I read!!!
I am also an up & coming photographer…

It’s O.K. Go ahead. Stand back in your amazement. I am also patient.

And as if that isn’t enough… I am also HAWT!!! hot on the campaign trail.

Obama? McCain? They had it easy compared to me… for in the midst of all my importance I even managed to hug all 3 of my children today. All. 3!!!

I hugged them without uttering one word about my community organizing for them (they have no idea the sacrifices I make), nor a word about how much of a Maverick I am on their behalf. I just hugged them. Plus, they can’t even vote for me. Oh my gosh… I AM SO GENUINE!!! *wipes tear, being careful not to disturb the mascara*

I think I need a nap.

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