Category Archive for ‘The Butt Series’ at Kerry On the Spot

Archive for the 'The Butt Series' Category

The Butt Series - A Christmas Snack

Oh dear. That title sounds very wrong. Ah. It’s late. No it isn’t. It FEELS late. Also most of my brain cell has been exhausted due to this, that, and a whole lotta whatnot. A day. It’s been a day.

So, instead of cleaning up my title so as to keep ya’llseses minds outta the gutter, I’m gonna leave that up to you. Instead, I want to ask:

If I eat ALL this Christmas snack, will it make my butt look big?

Don’t feel like you have to answer that. In fact, it is a rhetorical question, so… hush. Except still leave a comment. Bloggers do it for the comments.

Oh hey. Do you want the recipe to this delightful treat? Since you asked:

Continue reading ‘The Butt Series - A Christmas Snack’

Published

jenny

on January 6, 2009

in Eats, General and The Butt Series

. 13 Comments

Back to “normal”.

What a relative term… “normal”. My friend Sheila made a comment about a few recent posts that have taken a more serious tone. She has come to depend on my silliness, and she misses it. I really can’t blame her. I kind of miss my silliness too. Also, I have come to depend on Sheila’s readership individual daily impression(s) for the monetization of my blog friendship. So, Sheila, my much-adored friend with random green locks of hair… this post is for you. Mwah and mwah!

*****

It has been awhile since I have done any Butt Series posts. Of all the ridiculous, this particular, randomly posted feature is probably the most ridiculous. Of all my ridiculousnesses…sessseses, and such.

I do believe the timing is right for a Butt Series post - being on the tail-end (heh, pun…) of a holiday of feasting… A holiday centered on stomach stretching and stretchy pants. In observance of this American phenomenon I give you The Butt Series: A Thanksgiving Edition.

If I eat both of these pies… will they make my butt look big? What if I only use half a tub of whip?

Continue reading ‘Back to “normal”.’

Published

jenny

on November 30, 2008

in 365, Eats, General, Ridiculous and The Butt Series

. 6 Comments

You can quote me on this, but link and trackback, cuz I’m all about watching my authority grow on Technorati.

When life hands you lemons, start a blog.

- Kerry On The Spot, September 2008 -

My! GOSH! Am I a flippin’ philosophic genius, or what? Oh, don’t touch me… I don’t wanna burn ya, for I. Am. On. Fire!

I am also a poet and were Ansel Adams alive, he’d prolly compliment my mad photography skillz. He’d probably say something like, “Jenny, ON THE SPOT you are! You have such an eye for composition… shading… I can almost feel the wind blowing from the ocean shore… The juxtaposition of…” And at this point all I would really hear him say is, “Praise Kerry! Praise Kerry! Praise be to the highly artistically evolved Kerry! Oh the highly gifted Kerry! You bring balance to nature and have a great sense of style… You bring the “yin” to the “yang”… The “feng” to the “shui”… The “peanut” to the “butter”…”

So. Are you ready? Are you ready to see what happens when mad photography skillz and phenomenal poetry unite in perfect harmony? Are you sure you are ready? I mean, the peoples of the world might actually join as one - hand in hand due to this one piece of artistic genius I created… You may want to sit down for this:

**********

Now that I have reeled you in, may I ask your advice? Do these shells make my the butt of a perfect stranger look big? Or does my this butt of a perfect stranger make these shells look small?

Also, do you think I could pull off the whole “mermaid look” for Halloween?

Just trying to figure out my costume for when I walk downtown nabbin’ the good candy from the merchants before all the little people get it. *Note to the very kind, but obviously clueless candy-hander-outer people: Don’t hand out those little looks-just-like-a-strawberry wrapped candy! No one wants those! My Public wants Kit-Kats, Butterfingers, Reese’s peanut butter cups, Snickers… Give the people what they want!

**A post-publish edit… Candy people: All Adither wants Laffy Taffy and Skittles. I can’t have any until my braces come off - so Angie - you can have mine :)

**********

And that, My Public, is why one should never eat brownies for breakfast. Children spin and tumble and tear curtains off windows when they have brownies for breakfast… This blogger gal right here, at this URL, she spins too - tales of grandeur! She also tumbles… truth into a web of insanity! Oh, and she might literally tear curtains of her walls, but that’s only because she has a poor sense of balance.

********************

Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

Click here and Feed Me!

Published

jenny

on September 24, 2008

in 365, Delusions of Grandeur, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Mental Pause, Poetry and The Butt Series

. 14 Comments

We went camping this weekend.

I believe this was our 6th annual trip to “Family Camp”. We are blessed to be part of a wonderful group of families who heads to Whidbey Island for a weekend of… well, camping! The kids run wild, as do the parents. The bees are always a bother, the dirt is always on our feet… one can hear birds and laughter and the boys howling their battle cries. It is an event our family looks forward to every year, and will be one of those things that will be a pivotal part of our family memories. Would you like to take a peek into what it’s like?

The first morning we woke up to the aftermath of a raccoon invasion. They were especially fond of the muffins, and hot cocoa packets.

I joined the CSI Club and they sent me a finger printing kit. Look what I found!

After we my husband cleaned up the raccoon disaster-area, my husband took the older two kids to the beach with some of their buddies… A little while later, Cole asked, “Mama? Will you cake me to uh beach?” *blink, blink* We made the long trek to the beach, hand in hand.

Yay! The beach, and the swarm of children on “Splash Rock”.

Whew! I needed a rest. This is me, sitting on driftwood…. Does this driftwood make my butt look big?

No wait, does this two-table-long spread of late-night dessert make my butt look big???

Ahhh… a few moments at the bunkers.

And more kickin’ back on the seating around the ampitheather-thingy at the bunkers…

Speaking Writing of “kickin’ back”, I’m beat! I’m going to bed!

Peace.

********************

Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

Click here and Feed Me!

Published

jenny

on August 24, 2008

in 365, General, The Butt Series, The Love and Trippin'

. 9 Comments

The last day of kindergarten…

I let Cole run wild with my camera on her last day of kindergarten - way back in June. It is very educational to see images of life through her eyes… After looking through her collection of photographs, I learned something about people her size… Eye level for our precious kindergarteners is approximately at adult butt level… Thus, a very flattering picture of *ahem* Cole’s mother’s butt.

Does my daughter’s eye level make my butt look big??? Continue reading ‘The last day of kindergarten…’

Published

jenny

on August 17, 2008

in 365, General, Mutha' Hood, Olivia, The Butt Series and The Love

. 10 Comments

Butt, we’re family!!!

Not too long ago, my husband’s aunt (a.k.a. - my aunt too!!!) emailed a few pictures of her son and his new fiance’. Perhaps I should be more specific - pictures of their butts! Can I just say, I love this family. How can you not love people who send you pictures of their butts so you can poke fun at them and publish their butts on the world wide world of internetting? I know. You are jealous. Yes you want them to be your family too. I never knew, that when I said “I do” nearly 14 years ago, one day I would be cropping and “touching-up” my husband’s cousin’s butt . Never knew.

Without further ado, another branch of my family tree.

Ummm, Matthew? I must ask my public -

I’m sorry… I had to do that Cuz.

—–

Now Cousin Matthew wants to know:

I can’t tell - your BUTT is in the way!

—–

Look at these crazies! I think I love them more than ever!

1, 2, 3… A regular methane triple threat!

——

Drum roll please……………

I love you crazy family! My hubs didn’t get to choose his family. However - I did have a choice. But(t) I said “I do”, and I married him anyway… I guess what I am trying to say is… … … “I’m glad we’re family!” Thanks for stinking your butts out there for me. **smoochy, smoochy, huggy, hug, hug**

********************

Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

Click here and Feed Me!

Published

jenny

on August 15, 2008

in 365, Family, Funny Funnerson, General and The Butt Series

. 6 Comments

The Mid Summer Triathlon - through the eyes of Kerry.

My apologies - this will be one of those long posts. The kind-of post successful bloggers advise against. But for the sake of time and being sure to get this down, I’m going to just go for it. Is there a blog award for longest post???? If you bear with me, I promise to post a video in here somewhere in which I make a fool of myself as I demonstrate the sounds of a man I encountered during the swim who I have named, “The Blubbering Swimmer”.

In case you didn’t know - I did this:

I did it! I did It! And here’s proof I finished:

And I didn’t need one of these:

Continue reading ‘The Mid Summer Triathlon - through the eyes of Kerry.’

Published

jenny

on August 5, 2008

in 365, Eats, General, Kerry Jen-Jen, Swim/Bike/Run and The Butt Series

. 28 Comments

In further silliness

… and because I am entertaining family so I can’t dive on into the BlogHer wonderfulness that fills my mind with post-loads of things to write… Instead, I give you this - a mirror I found while browsing the local downtown shops with my sister and mom:

********************

Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

Click here and Feed Me!

Published

jennyonthespot

on July 23, 2008

in 365, Beauty - ha!, General and The Butt Series

. 2 Comments

Me like pictures.

This is why I suspect my level of intellect is closer to that-of a preschooler. Me like pictures. Oooh, shiny…

Sewwwww…. beitsince my last great number of posts have been primarily boring ‘ol words, I’m gonna “Go Visual”. Oh, and for those who are fans of “The Butt Series“, this should be fun…